This was the week I raced the second time of my fall season, it was a 10km cross country jaunt in a snowy park and lets just say that there were some lessons relearned the hard way for me. I had this race on my radar for a long while now so I had adequate time to prepare myself with a plan to be motivated about, and yet when I got on the start line I was left clueless about my purpose there today and if there is one take home lesson I learned for myself two weeks before nationals it is that if I am to race well again I will need to have a mission.
Post 10k race weeks can be a little rough to get going, never the less I still managed to get in a solid 80 mile week and while not spectacular in any particular way it was solid and I put in the sort of work that will make me what I want to be come July.
This week I made my return to the world of racing. Ever since I came out of college I have been in a habit of only racing when I am ready in intentional opposition to how I was always forced to race unready in college. Being a post-collegiate athlete is nice like that because I have no obligations to anything or anyone except myself so why not just save myself the trouble until I am absolutely confident that I am fit and ready to go? This is a great idea in theory and practice yet at the same time I was too committed to this mentality and it resulted in racing a lot less than I should have. So with my return to running this year with a renewed outlook I just went with my gut instinct that it would be a fun and challenging experience to race even thought I wasn’t fully prepared and just fucking go with the flow of doing my best. Who cares about being ready for every challenge in life, now I say just fucking throw me in there and let me learn and grow at the fast pace that comes with being on the razor’s edge.
My journey to build stability within myself has begun, it is more than just consistency and building up my training, it is a process of building a networked life of good things and stable people to both protect me against rough times and help guide me in my chase towards these crazy dreams.