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This is going to be tough…. This week was my first week of attempting some workouts on my own and while it went as well as I could have possible hoped… it wasn’t easy.

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Non runner journal entry #1. I’ve often misused or failed to use my downtime properly and to the fullest extent that I believe it should be to rest and recover the body, mind and soul. I often sit around at home and just slob and blob around like a fool and justify it with some lame half assed idea of what time off should entail, nothing. But not this time! Because fuck that nonsense.

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What is the end of season, about to loose your grasp on motivation and fitness, version of that feeling of senioritis called? Fatigueitis? Longseasonitis? Runningoutoffuckstogiveitis? Well terminology doesn’t matter so much as the feeling I am struggling with.

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There is an annual meet in London, Ontario called 1500m night. I have been a participant in this meet in almost every way possible over the years. My history with this meet has had its ups and downs, its has been host some of my darkest days as well as some of the best moments of my life.

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It is interesting who sticks around in your life when you’re low and who seems to disappear when you need them most. It doesn’t make me angry or hurt by any means to be forgotten or ignored but it is interesting and it makes me think about whom I might have unintentionally done the same to when our roles are reversed. I really don’t know whom I might have abandoned in their time of need but that’s probably because I didn’t know that they were in need, so the same could be said now for what’s going on with me because I can certainly admit that I am making a partial effort to hide my negativity from those around me in order to not bring them down with me. But still, surprisingly interesting to see who’s around in my life these days and who isn’t.

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